Series 5, Episode 6
Awkward Silence Count: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
So Lucy and Spencer are in Paris. On a second date. Looks like Spenny is going full on in order to make Louise jealous.
In other news, Francis has a huge sandwich. It’s like massive. Looks like it has like 7 layers?! I don’t even have that many things in my fridge. And of course, Francis and Proudlock are looking exactly the same – same glasses, same blue shirt, same face. Anyway, Jamie’s pretty pissed off Spencer’s off with a girl he hates, but a bite of Francis’ sandwich cheers him up …. yes, the innuendo was intended by me, but not really by the show …
Rosie and Binky reveal that Louise has actually slept with Spencer. Oh Louise. How is this even possible?! HE SLEPT WITH SOMEONE ELSE IN YOUR BED! Of course, in true Louise style, she cries.
On Spencer and Lucy’s French date, they talk about how much they hated each other when they first met. How romantic.
Adding to the romance, Andy breaks up with Fran, who doesn’t particularly take it well and shouts a lot. Andy does have the decency to look a little bit sheepish, but now he’s all free for a certain little Miss Thompson …
Yay! This episode has Mark Francis in it. He never fails to brighten my day. Apparently, he wants to make Binky into a princess … this should be interesting …
Jamie tries on some sexy studded heels (that’s sarcasm by the way) and discusses Proudlock’s predicament with Phoebe. It’s the age-old storyline of wanting to date a friend’s ex without upsetting them. Of course, Made in Chelsea would never let that go smoothly. Also, has anyone else noticed the intense amounts of interbreeding within the cast?! Like everyone has dated everyone at some stage. Don’t they ever meet anyone outside of work?!
Andy calls Louise to ask her out. (Another thing I’ve noticed, people can never take phone calls while moving. They always stop in the middle of the street and casually lean against a fence) Apparently she ‘kean’.
They have a pretty cute and 14-year-old style date, bowling and milkshakes, then a romantic snog to the sound of some traffic lights, followed by a cab back to Andy’s. Doesn’t seem to take much to get Louise out of her knickers does it?
On the race track, Jamie is sent round in the under-16 cars, because he can’t actually drive. Apparently he didn’t think that would be a problem when he booked it.
Binky is literally my favourite person ever. She’s kind of my girl-crush, 1) because she’s really hot, and 2) because she’s so blonde it’s adorable. Teamed with Francis too, who goes a bit overboard in his metaphors when trying to describe how he wants her to look. Poor Binky doesn’t get it.
Back on the racetrack, Josh and Proudlock have a little tiff, because Josh thinks he’s been snakey, trying to date Phoebe. I’m siding with Josh on this one – because he’s got a nice face.
Woah, woah, woah, here’s something I didn’t think I’d be seeing anytime soon – Spencer apologies to Francis. That’s right, Spencer actually admits he was wrong. Then Francis earns his payslip by linking smoothly into the news that Andy and Louise have been on a date.
As if by magic, Andy and Stevie randomly turn up at that exact moment and Spencer does what Spencer does best. He gets angry. Of course, he tells his little posse that he HAS to talk to him. Why do they always do that? Why can’t they be like normal people and just be like ‘hey, whatever, I might send him a text later’ . Anyway, Spencer uses his teacher voice, poor little Andy is like a sad little boy, trying to make friends with the guy that hates him and the rest of the boys watch, transfixed. Fuck and dick are said quite a lot and I think it’s clear that Spencer and Andy won’t be playing House anytime soon.
This week’s end of episode party is a champagne tasting, that I think Mark Francis is hosting. I only say that because he seems to be the only one who cares about the champagne. Everyone else is too busy having arguments and glaring at each other.
Stevie warns Lucy about Spencer’s ways, the warns Spencer about Louise and Andy’s imminent arrival. Naww, he’s like a little health and safety officer isn’t he?
Phoebe confronts Josh about his problem with Proudlock. Poor Joshy, I’m still on his side. It sounds as though Phoebe has been stringing him along for a while, and who could do that to someone with THAT as a face?
Andy and Louise have an incredibly awkward arrival, holding hands, provoking a lot of dramatic looks and glares. Fran’s not happy, Olivia’s not happy, Spencer’s not happy. Oh and neither is Lucy, Jamie, Proudlock, Phoebe or Francis.
Louise decides she needs to be the bitchiest though, and calls Lucy over purely to insult her. Apparently, she’s very offended that Lucy obviously fancies Spencer throughout their relationship and has been ‘waiting to pounce’, when that’s really exactly what Andy did …
So overall, there’s lots of hypocrites, Louise is easy and there was enough Francis to last us until next week.