There’s two reasons for this woohoo – we don’t give them out lightly. Firstly, this is the start of a brand new series – a ‘How To’ series. They won’t be coming on any sort of schedule so you’ll just have to keep your eyes open.
Secondly, it’s exam season again, and we all know what that means – procrastination. Which is what you’re doing right now. Don’t lie, even if you’re not revising, you’re avoiding doing something right now aren’t you … (I won’t lie either, I just procrastinated writing this by going over the last season of 90210 on Wikipedia)
But to make it worthwhile to your future, here’s a little guide of good advice for all you revising … people.
1) Go for a run
According to the internet, going for a run in the morning will awaken you brain and make it easier to remember things. According to me, it’ll make you so f*cking tired that you’ll have no choice but to stay sitting on that desk chair.
2) Eat food that’s tasteless
When you’re revising, your body will try anything to get away from the mind-numbing boredom by distracting you with your stomach. So you just need something to chew absentmindedly while
watching the cat from next door try to catch a bird you revise. I’d say crackers because 1) they’re so dull you’ll give up on eating anyway and 2) they’re practically cardboard, so you’re not going to come out of study leave looking like Chris Moyles (pre-weight loss obviously)
3) Always have a book open
That way, every time your mum comes in to check you’re working, you can chuck your laptop under your bed and stare intently at it. Just make sure you change the page every time she leaves.
4) Keep away from the parents as much as possible
Teenagers and stress don’t really make a good mix , so keep a wide berth from the ‘rents and/or any other extremely annoying person in your life because they will make you angry and chances are, you’ll end up in tears.
5) Don’t be THAT guy
If you don’t know one of those guys then count yourself very lucky. Don’t be that guy that looks at people doing exams in the year below him and constantly tells him how they can’t possibly understand how hard life is for them and how their exam is a million times harder. No one likes that guy. Okay, if you’re in your final year of uni, GCSE kids look like the lamest thing ever, but this is the first time they’ve sat exams and their still at the stage where they care so don’t be mean.
6) Instagram the shit out of that textbook
Who doesn’t love a good lying-across-some-books-with-a-sepia-tint photo? I do.
7) Don’t lose your books – but if you do, just steal stuff
I know this from experience. It was around this time last year that I realised that I had lost all of my history books from a two year course. I then stole a textbook and preceded to revise the wrong subject (there’s another tip, always know what your exam is actually about). So keep track of your books and if you do, remember to thoroughly check the drawer where you keep them all. That’s where I found two of them four months later. There’s still two missing though …
8) Don’t paint your nails, then re-paint them, then take off the nail varnish because it wasn’t that good anyway
Don’t lie. You know you’ve done it at least once. Unless you’re a guy. In which case … don’t lie.
9) Get off all social media sites
Don’t even bother looking at them because no one will have messaged you – all your friends are probably also pretending to revise. And now is not the time to look through every single photo on that guy you like’s Facebook page. Especially because by the end, he’ll start looking extremely young and not very attractive at all, so it’s a lose-lose situation.
10) Stop reading this
Get off Bloglovin’ and open a book. Read at least one page before you start to find other things to distract your time with. And who knows, you might even achieve something in your life. If not, there’s always McDonalds.