Made in Chelsea Catch Up Time!

Series 5, Episode 9

Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6
Episode 7
Episode 8

It’s episode 9 of series 5! Will this series ever end? Who knows! Is anyone actually still watching it apart from me? I’ll be honest with you guys, watching Made in Chelsea is now the lowlight of my week. After watching the past 4 series, this one has just tipped me over the edge. But still, you guys seem to love this post, so for the sake of this blog, here we go again ….

Awkward silence count: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

So Jamie is continuing on his questionable fashion choices by wearing a sleeveless leopard print top, but who cares – BOULLE’S BACK! And they’re played bowls which I always imagine old people play in white trousers.

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Lucy’s making sure we all remember the type of gal she is by walking around in her undies in front of Andy and Stevie. Andy’s nostrils expand to dangerous sizes to convey his shock/excitement.

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Spencer sends Lucy an ‘essay’ text. Well she says it’s an essay, but really it’s only a couple of sentences. Anyway, the gist is he’s into her, but he also wants to shag other ladies. Always the charmer Spenny.

Francis, Jamie, Millie and Rosie are playing tennis together, with Rosie wearing a rose headband. I’m sorry, but if you’ve got that thing on your head you can’t really be doing much. While Rosie’s ranting her 101 reasons why Spencer’s a dick, Mark Francis turns up to invite them to a masquerade ball. As you do.

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Phoebe bitches to Alex about Lucy and basically tells him that Lucy is a horrible person who will mess him around. I have two problems with that. 1) what has Lucy even done?! Okay, she once texted one of Phoebe’s friend’s boyfriend thinking he was single. And that’s it. Why is does she keep going on about how all the horrible things Lucy has done to her when actually it’s Phoebe being the bitch here. And 2) didn’t Alex cheat on Phoebe several times? Does that not mean there’s a bigger chance of him messing Lucy around? Also, his hair looks like a triangle.

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Jamie apologises to Lucy, and admits that he did kiss her in the hot-tub. Congrats Jamie, you finally did it. They make up and hug and air kiss and everything is good again.

The newly broken up Ollie and Ashley just so happen to end up in the same restaurant where Ashley is on a date with Josh. Ashley is NOT happy. She screams at Ollie that he lied to her for the entirety of their relationship about being into girls as well as guys, while Ollie stutters and Josh and Oscar have an awkward chat about the food.

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Phoebe bitches to Francis and Jamie about Lucy and Alex’s relationship mixed in with shots of Lucy and Alex on their date looking pretty happy together. Phoebe can’t seem to understand why Alex would be interested in Lucy when she wants him to be following her around all the time. I dunno Phoebe, MAYBE HE JUST LIKES HER????

It’s the end-of-episode-party! YAY! This week it’s a masquerade ball in which Millie looks like a panda and Francis warns Josh that Ashley is a sock stealer while wearing a penis style mask. Standard.

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Phoebe seems to feel that she hasn’t bitched to enough people this episode so heads on over to Lucy and Binky to display her horrible personality to the world, then runs off to Jamie to bitch about the bitching and seems surprised that Lucy was offended when she said she had a bad reputation.

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Spencer calls Jamie up and tells him he’s chilling in Barcelona. Spenny tells Jamie to get a group of people together and come over to join him, but to make sure to get Lucy there. He even invites Alex in order to create some more drama in next week’s episode. Lucy doesn’t look like she particularly wants to go, but tough luck Watson. It’s probably in your contract.

So Phoebe’s a bitch, Phoebe’s and bitch, and Phoebe is a complete bitch.

Hannah***

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