Things I’m Afraid Of

So today, while doing my usual procrastination (today I’m avoiding cleaning the bath), I came across a 31 day blog challenge on Bad Wolf’s blog.

I had a look through and decided that some of them looked quite interesting, but instead of just doing all of them in one solid block, I’ll just do a few, scattered around in the very dis-organised way this blog is usually set out.

And today, I thought I’d delight you all in a little run-down of Things I’m Afraid Of. You know, just in case some of you are really horrible and fancy putting me through them all. Obviously, I’m scared of the usual stuff, like spiders and snakes, but this is more list of my more ‘interesting’ fears. And just to give you even more detail – which I’m sure you’re just bursting for – I’ve put them in order for you. Let’s start with #5:

#5 – Window Cleaners

How can you not feel uncomfortable with some guy looking into your bedroom window? You only have the 5 second warning of his ladder hitting your windowsill, before he’s peering in and spotting the pair of knickers you left on the floor. Personally, I take those precious 5 seconds to get the hell out. Or if that fails, throw myself under the bed and hope he doesn’t see my foot sticking out.

#4 – Mr Blobby

Just watch this video and then try to tell me that it didn’t scare the shit out of you. That’s the 90’s for you.

#3 – Parachutes

I’m sure everyone in the world has been to one of those awful kid’s events where they get a big parachute out and think it’s amusing to make everyone run underneath it and then just pull it down on them. I was traumatized. I remember going to a kid’s party when I was about 6 and having to do that, and getting stuck in the middle and just screaming. I came away from that party with a goodie-bag and claustrophobia. Good times.

#2 – Bellybuttons

Ew. Even the word is disgusting. I can’t even talk about them. And no, you’re not getting a picture.

#1 – Cows

If you’re a vegetarian, look away now, but a few years ago, some friends and I were attacked by a herd of about 50 cows and it was the most terrifying experience of my life. So now, I’m a firm believer that a cow is only good between two halves of a bread bun. Maybe with some cheese on top. Mmmm. I warned you veggies.

So now you have all you need if you’re planning a hostage style interrogation with me. Just put me under a parachute with a cow, Mr Blobby and a window cleaner showing me his bellybutton, and I’ll tell you anything you want to know.

P.S. WordPress wants me to tag Southend-on-Sea for this post. Any ideas why?




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