The Story of a Slightly Above Average Wednesday
Do you ever have those sort of dreams where you’re doing something in a dream that feels like you’re doing it in real life?
Wednesday morning I had one of those extremely weird moments where I heard my phone receive a text, picked it up and then discovered that I couldn’t actually read it because … well, I hadn’t actually picked it up at all.
I had a meeting at an Eating Disorders Clinic in the morning. I don’t have an eating disorder – just linked to some anxiety issues that I have. After my mum and I spent 15 minutes in the waiting room attempting to murder a fly that was a little too attracted to my legs, I walked into the meeting room to the nurse shouting “shut up”, which threw me a bit. Fortunately, when I asked her to repeat herself, it turned out she’d said ‘I’m going to call you sweetheart and love a lot. If that’s annoying, just tell me to shut up.’
Eitherway, after an hour. I left the meeting, having negotiated my way into an NHS treatment that wanted me to wait another three months (bearing in mind I’ve already been waiting 5 months). The sweet skills of charm eh?
Seen as the clinic was only a 10 minute drive from a shopping center, my mother and I were obliged to go and have a look around. We headed for a cafe for lunch and discovered that the whole place had been taken over by the elderly. We were even served by an old man, who spent ages asking me if we were shopping for my ‘graduation ball’, while my mum attempted to order a cup of tea from him. He finally handed the change over with the concerned words of “you don’t look old enough to have left school. Maybe you should go back until you do.”
Exercised my awesome hiding skills when a girl that I actually did go to school with and definitely didn’t want to have a conversation with randomly popped up next to me. You’ve never seen a girl dive into the dress section that quickly.
Late afternoon, I headed over to help an older friend of mine with the creation of a recipe book for another friend’s hen do. There is nothing more terrifying than watching an elderly lady scream profanities at a piece of card and throw things at the sofa. In her defense, the labels said everything was 8×8, the ruler said nothing was 8×8.
Came home to a very disappointing dinner of 1 small fishcake and salad. And purely because my mama didn’t want to feel guilty when she teaches a class on a balanced diet in the morning. But it’s alright, we’re having fish and chips tomorrow …