5 Lessons Learned Today

1) Maxi skirts are hard to walk fast in

Being late for work doesn’t mix with having to cut your strides in half because you didn’t factor in the circumference of the bottom of your skirt. I tell you, hitching your skirt halfway up your leg to pick up some speed is not an attractive look.

2) Old people have no boundaries

They will have no problem with asking you to come into their changing room and inspect their backside. And when you’ve established that those trousers aren’t too tight, they won’t be waiting for you to leave before they take them off.

3) 22°C is still the perfect weather for a woolly hat

And also perfect for teaming with a hoodie, coat, thick socks … and a scarf

4) Take your time in Aldi? Hell no.

That is purely a place for speed packing. Even if you’re a poor old man, struggling to move your items off the till, you’ll still have people screaming at you, because Aldi is no place for politeness. Fancy ramming your trolley into the person blocking the aisle? That’s cool. And if you ever need an adult bib, head to the center aisle. They’re bound to have one.

5) Don’t lie about having watched 90210

Okay, I was under-prepared. I didn’t take the time to find out when the last series was starting, so I missed the first episode. And for some reason, when my friend asked me ‘Oh, have you watched 90210 yet?’, instead of answering ‘Oh is that on already? I missed it.’ I decided a better answer would be ‘Of course I have, it was great wasn’t it?’. So, so many spoilers.

What have you learned today?




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