Series 5, Episode 12
Its end of season pardy time! Although I’m usually not a fan of this episode, but they’ve changed the format so it’s an award show – much less room for awkwardness (the bad kind at least).
It’s a strong start with some terrible acting by Jamie and half of the male cast in tight-fitting superhero outfits…if only I was kidding.
Then we switch back to the studio with some shots of a very bored looking Millie and an appearance from Binky’s Mum – we must be in for a treat.
Spencer is the first to take to the sofa and admits he’s cheated on Lucy. Literally nobody saw this coming, it’s just as rare as Louise crying…
The awkwardness is almost unbearable with Lucy looking like she’s about to cry and having to sit next to Spencer. But being Lucy she then switches quickly back to smug looks and pouts but getting lots of cheers because, unlike Louise she is at least sticking up for herself.
Then its on to the first award (which are called The Spoons?) for ‘Most Accurate Description of Spencer Matthews’ with Jamie winning for when he likened Spenny to a pig on the weird petting zoo date thing with Phoebe. Francis is up next with a video of his ‘Trip to Ghana’ including weird close-ups of his crotch in a tent…Honestly. But looking adorable.
Onto the next Spoon and its for ‘Excellence in Discussing Sex’ – going to be a good one I feel. It goes to Binky’s Mum and then Binky reveals she gave her advice on how to give a good blowjob…Wow.
The 3rd Spoon is for ‘Outstanding Achievement in Stating the Obvious’ going to Spencer for making mistakes.
Then its sofa time again with Andy and an incredible shiny looking Louise. As expected, Andy has forgiven Louise. What a plot twist eh? Lucy says she doesn’t think Louise is telling the truth – I doubt even Andy thought she was to be honest especially after all the weird fingernail eating.
Spoon time again with this one being ‘Scene Stealing by An Inanimate Object’ going to Francis’ sandwich. You know the one.
A talk with Phoebe and Jamie now about their hot tub antics over the phone because Jamie has the Mumps. Jamie being himself digs an even bigger hole by practically outright saying he doesn’t want to be with Tara but does want to be with Phoebe. Oops.
The final Spoon is for ‘Insult of The Series’ which goes to both Spencer and Andy for insulting each other. Lovely and awkward well done Made In Chelsea producers.
Now for the little bit afterwards which may have been one of the most disturbing things I have ever seen. To sum it up all I can just about manage is – Spencer, Proudlock, Francis, Gay Porno. Enough said.
Thinking it had finished by this point my mum tried to open the door to come in. Very bad idea. She was quickly shooed.
Now its all over for, well lets face it, a couple of months? What will I do with my Monday nights now?!