I’ve finished my job! Woohoo! I had my last day last week and my time in the world of pensions is (hopefully) over!
So to celebrate the fact that I’ve managed to escape alive, here’s a list of my favourite parts of that job:
- Pretending to be more important than I am
As in looking really busy and concentrated while walking down corridors/reading files/looking at lists. It really is quite an art that I’ve perfected over the years, and gives the illusion that I’m not just doing filing but a job that’s really important and integral to the company.
- Sitting under the ‘Pensions’ sign
Following on from #1, sitting under the pensions department sign adds to the false sense of importance and implies that you must be pretty clever to work in a world of maths. It was the perfect environment to hide the results of my Maths AS level. I got a U.
- Pretending not to notice people who want to ask you a question
One of the downsides of looking like you know what you’re doing is that people passing by your desk tend to want to ask you questions. Thankfully, I used to work in a library and during those days I perfected the art of ignoring people so they won’t ask you a question you don’t know the answer too. Suddenly becoming very busy and avoiding eye contact is key. If worst comes to worst, just get up and walk off with purpose.
- That time the pigeon died.
- Listening to other people’s conversations
Like the time someone came in with whooping-cough and the secretary immediately started researching to tell her just how many people die a year from whooping-cough. Or the time when the woman who does Ali’s ironing was on holiday and she had to do it all herself. (Apart from her husband’s. He had to do his own.)
- Hearing what people really say as soon as they put the phone down
They do love to complain
- Awkward eye contact with the guy from Payroll who walks past my desk
It’s less the eye contact than trying to return his smile before he’s gone past so I don’t look rude. Unfortunately, he was a very fast walker
So there’s one job finished with, and to replace it, college starts again next week. Ugh is the only word to describe my feelings towards that right now.